FB posts

Recording of FB posts:

Jan. 11th

Hello ladies and men with women in their lives,
Many of you already know, but for those who don't, I was diagnosed with breast cancer just before winter break. The treatment and service I have gotten here in Abu Dhabi has been incredible. But I am writing to encourage you to participate in, what I am calling, Buddy Check 13. As women we need to support and encourage each other. How many of you actually do a breast self exam (BSE) or self breast awareness checks? Being self breast aware just means knowing how your breast change, look and feel during different times. Well, with Buddy Check 13 we will encourage our sisters to check monthly for abnormalities. So.... Here's how it works:
1. You find a partner or 2 and commit to being accountable to her/them
2. On the 13th of each month starting in January (OO-OOP) you pledge to call, txt, whatsapp (however you communicate) your buddy to remind her to be self breast aware or do a BSE.
3. Once you've done it, you message each other to confirm completion.
SIMPLE, huh? Now let's get to feeling on ourselves. Lol

I hope we each participate as we know that early detection is key.
‪#‎buddycheck13‬
#✔13
‪#‎fightlikeagirl‬

Jan. 13th

So... what made you decide to post your diagnosis on FB? That's the question several people have asked me. Well, a couple days ago I was speaking to a former mentee (now just a friend) and she asked me who knew? I told her my closest family and friends, more people here in UAE then back home. She pauses then says, "why?". I told her I had been going back in forth on whether or not to post it, you know how "fake" FB is and I didn't want a pity party on my behalf. She then began to tell me that when she was younger she stayed away from a lot of things, drugs, sex, etc. because of the stories I told her (no, I won't tell you- lol). She said my transparency really helped her and a couple other girls she know stay out of trouble. She said, just think if I had never know about ___________, I could have been lost. She reminded me of something I would always tell my girls at school as well as my youth group "MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). I tell you, I had tears flowing. I would always tell me girls that the things that I have gone through were because God needed to demonstrate them on me so that I can help you NOT go through them, so don't make my mistakes, make your own. When I hung up with her I knew I had to post it (and just let the "Jesus Jr's" of the world say they will pray for me but not really do it) I also know that the more I share my story, the more empowered I will become. I know this journey will not be an easy one, but I declare, IF GOD BE FOR ME, WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME! (Romans 8:31) I will count it all joy... (James 1:2) (my friend Ashleigh Dennis favorite scripture-love ya boo). I know that I am HIS child and if He has room enough to feed the birds of the air, how much more will He do for His children (Matthew 6:26). 

So, why did I decide to post it? This journey is not just for me, there is someone that needs to go through this without going through it. 

Lord, I am your vessel, use me up!

But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:24

If you would like to go on this journey with me, pm me and I will send you the link to my blog.

Oh yeah, today was my first day of chemo!!!! 1 down, 5 more to go. It wasn't too bad, at least not yet. Jan. 13, 2016 is a day I will never forget!!

‪#‎OO‬-OOP
‪#‎ChemoRound1‬

Neighbors Sent from God Himself!!

My neighbors have been AWESOME! Since my first round of chemo they have provided dinner for us as I regain my strength (although I barely cook anyway). One in particular not only showed up with dinner from my favorite Arabic restaurant, but she also brought me a present to add to my collection. I am so grateful for family, away from family. We have had dinner provided for us for the past week, every night!!  One family gave us so much food Brian asked if we were suppose to feed the entire building, lol

Greenland Compound, the best neighbors in the UAE!!

May God continue to bless you all.


‪#‎feelslikefamily‬

Safe In HIS Arms

Round 1 Week 1

This week has shown to have some significant changes in my life.  I had my first round of chemo on Wed. (Jan. 13, 2016) and I challenged ALL my FB friends and family to join me in "Buddy Check 13", were they find an accountability partner to do a self breast exam/assessment on the 13th of each month.  I cut my hair!!!!  I originally was only going to rock a small fro.  Since I found out I had breast cancer I decided not to twist my roots so that I could wear a small afro until is all falls out, well, I cut it anyway.  The doctor informed me that because my hair was so long and thick, not only would it fall out within 10-12 days after first chemo, but it would fall out in chunks.  I had a very dear friend of mine (who also has long locs) cut my locs off, then Brian and I went to the mall (with a skully on) to a store recommended by a fellow survivor to get a couple caps.  Cutting my locs was not traumatic at all, I think mainly because I knew it was coming, and my friend was so very pleasant in helping me see the big picture, but in that store, I fell to pieces.  My, my, my, the store is full of shaylas, head wraps, caps, any and everything you could image (good thing I live in a Muslim country).  Just the thought of knowing that I now have to wear one made me sad.  I was overwhelmed.  I cried like a baby in front of my husband and the store clerk.  I just couldn't keep it together.  After my episode in the store we went to the barber who, after telling him about my situation suggested that I cut is extremely low because it is still going to come out in chunks, he said " Your hair is so thick, the thinner you make it, the less spotty it will be coming out".  Here comes the water head tears again.  After about 2 min. I was able to accept my fate and walk in it.

As far as the side effects from the chemo, I have been told that I will most likely "feel" something days 5-7.  That is about how long it will take the chemo to really get into my system.  Well,  I'm glad to say that the only "setback" I've had was on day 3 when I threw up after deciding to eat 2 hamburgers, lamb chops and sausages at our neighborhood picnic.  I figured, hey, if my appetite is going to change, I need to get it in now. lol.  I haven't had that much red meat in over 4 years and I paid for it.  Although, my senses do seem to be on overdrive.  I can smell things so well now, and at times it makes me nauseous, my eyes are very sensitive to even the slightest change in light and my my eyes burn when I cry.  The burning sensation feels like I have lotion or something in my eyes.  I only feel it burning when I cry (so I guess I better suck that mess up, as my sorority sister used to say all the time- lol).

Working: Although very reluctant, I stayed home from work the day after chemo, but I have worked every work day since.  The first day of work had so many butterflies in my stomach, as you can image, teenagers can be mean and I didn't know what to expect from my girls regarding my hair.  I am pleased to announce that they were soooooo loving, "miss, Whallah (I swear to God), you look beautiful, Whallah", "I like you better like this miss", "Miss I love your new look".  I felt so much better knowing that I didn't have to cuss anyone out. lol.  However, I left school feeling so tired, I could barely make it home.  At each round-about I felt like I could just sleep.  I got home and went directly to bed and didn't wake up until the next morning.  I know this was because I worked myself up regarding the reaction of my coworkers and students and tried to keep up with my regular routine, and I can't, I just hate feeling helpless.

Safe in HIS Arms:
Last night my cousin tagged me in a post of a group singing Safe In His Arms (Rev. Milton Brunson version).  When we were younger we were both in the children's choir at my church and I was tasked to sing this song as a solo (one of several) (my other favorite song was Calling My Name by Hezekiah Walker and Timiney Figueroa).  Now, if you have EVER heard me sing outside of my shower you would run screaming.  I have always loved this song, since the day I was home rehearsing it and realized there were several statements that I didn't know the meaning of (...the billows begin to roll..).  After reading and listening to the song, I was so overcome with joy, my living turned into a church service.  I hadn't had CHURCH like that since I attended Mt. Sinai in Clemson, SC while at graduate school.  Im sure my neighbors heard every cry, snot, and praise, but I felt such a release, I couldn't hold it in.  As for my husband, he just smiled and took the kids to bed.

How am I feeling?:
Physically- Good, I do have to pace myself so that I don't tire, it seems to sneak up on me
Mentally- Safe,  I know I am covered and this too shall pass

Prayer Requests:
Please keep my family in your prayers, especially my husband.  He is strong, but even the strongest have times of weakness

7.5 years of locing my hair

Gone in 1 hr

A fellow cancer survivor put me up on these caps.  Aren't they cute?

New Beginnings

New Beginnings....

At the end of each year my husband and I choose a word or phrase that we believe will depict the upcoming year.  Last year it was Khalas (arabic for finish).  This year it is new beginnings.  Although I am still working on accepting this, I wanted it to be Perseverance, I know this year will have many new beginnings as well.

On Dec. 1, 2015 I found a lump in my right breast and about 14 days later it was confirmed to be cancerous.  At first I was in a  bit of shock, me, I'm only 35 years old.  Yes, I know Im over weight and could eat healthier, but I had just begun walking in the morning with a friend.  We joined the local gym about 4 months ago and attend 3-4 days a week, what is really going on?  After praying and seeking God about what this means, I have come to realize that I have been chosen, crazy huh.  God has seen me fit enough to carry out this plan, that some may seem as death and destruction.  He reminded me of my journey to get here in the UAE, my battle with trying to commit suicide in high school, the youth ministry my husband and I oversaw for 10 years.  All these memories and through them all I've always said that God placed me here to go through some things that He knew others could not handle. So... here I am Lord, use me up!!

We have been here almost 2 years (will be 2 years in March) and this entire time we have been, what I call, pew sitters.  We go to church, don't really get involved, but just have been basking in His Glory.  We almost joined the youth ministry team, but decided not to until we heard from God.  At first I thought, "Wow, this is nice, just sitting back watching others work for God", but I later realized that we had to rejuvenate, rest up, reflect on how our lives will be utilized for His Kingdom.  These past 2 years was a time of rest and reflection.  A time for us to grow closer as a family.  Just before we left the US, we were going 100mph; working, coaching, running a business and a ministry.  Being here was time for us to get back to the basics and focus on us.  The light work load, no business (although I've researched several here), no coaching has allowed us to spend some incredible amounts of family time together.  We have weekly game nights (which were unheard of at home), time to work out together and just be family, I'm loving it!!

So...I said all this to say, new beginnings... a time for us to walk in the plans God has for us.  I embrace this journey and I pray that my flesh does not get in the way of His destiny for our lives and the lives we are called to touch.  It's time to dig our heels in a little deeper, lean on who we know is our strength and press.  God Bless!!

So much in a Year Part 4 (Finally!!)

Well, my mother came to visit us in October, we had a blast.  We visited the Burj Khalifa, Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque, went on a desert safari excursion, shopped, took desert pics and shopped a bit more at the local souks.  The night before she was due to leave we had a conversation about her staying a couple days longer.  As the mother she is, she was concerned about the cost to change the flight, especially since I got the flight during Etihad's error fare almost a year ago (ticket was ~$300 R/T).  She continued to refuse so I said (khalas- finish) she will leave in the morning.  Well, we get to the airport 2 hrs before her flight is scheduled to leave and find out that they require a 3 hr advance check in and would not allow her to board.  lol.  My first thought was, "Ok, I guess I got what I wanted anyway".  Of course she felt bad, but I was happy.  We turned around, went home and enjoyed a few more days together.  I did however, feel bad for the 3 other couples (yes 3) that were not allowed to board, they were just visiting the area and had no family or friends they could stay with until they rebooked their flights.  One even had a flight later that week to Belize that would have to suffer financially due to having to pay for a new flight.  In the end, it all worked out, my mother was able to spend 2 whole days with the kids while Brian and I had to go to work.  Each day they came home more spoiled than the last (glad that only lasted 2 days).
I really miss having her close, we lived together for the last 3 years before I moved here to the UAE and I now realize how much of a blessing she really has been.  Some of you may now, but I was not the best child to take care of (yeah, go figure).  I put my mom through a lot; tried to commit suicide, bad grades (terrible grades), smart mouth, etc. I know that she already had a lot to deal with as a single parent and I didn't make things easy on her, but she loved me unconditionally.
I am a firm believer that nothing happens by chance, I know my childhood (and adult) experiences have brought me to this point in my life and I thank God for giving me the strength and allowing me to go through them.

A mother's Love... none can compare.